if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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