Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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