forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You pole danced in your parka.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
