if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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