My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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