My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
