i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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