Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
