I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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