Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
