Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
