yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
