you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize