Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
