Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
