This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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