I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize