Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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