You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
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I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
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I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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