mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
