babies were throwing up all over the place
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
