Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend