I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
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just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
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As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.