But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME