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• (214): View more from Texas

  A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all

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• (512): View more from Texas

  he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before

  (806): View more from Texas

  he probably also told you he thought u were pretty

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out

  (916): View more from California

  you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I’m home.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I’m aware. I just dropped you off.

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