Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
