Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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