You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
