reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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