I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
nutella sex= disaster
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
