nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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