There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
