I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
