I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
