I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
