before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
