once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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