It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
