tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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