just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
