Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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