Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hippo gnu deer
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
