She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
that may or may not have been my penis.
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