i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
