Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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