So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
