So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
