I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
