yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
