people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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