Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
