I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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