I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
