Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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