my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize