i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
