I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
