Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
