my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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