you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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