just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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