WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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