i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
