just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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