Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I am full of burrito and curiosity
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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