you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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