Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
