Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
