problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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