Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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