Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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