Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
