Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
